Going to the 2020 Games (Or not.) (Or maybe!) (Nope, definitely nope): A Play in Three Acts
Photos via UnSplash by Alex Smith, Geron Dison, and the CDC
Dramatis Personae
Me……………………………………… 30-something American, lifelong Olympics fan despite knowing the event’s problematic aspects
CoSport………………………………… Ticket broker for the Olympics in the United States
Japan…………………………………… The government, first led by Abe, then Suga. A guy named Taro Kono who’s in charge of vaccines.
Companies……………………………... Japan’s corporate interests. Organizations which employ the typical “salaryman.”
People of Japan………………………… The chorus, representing the majority opinion of Japanese residents.
IOC……………………………………. International Olympic Committee
Coca Cola, P&G, McDonald’s, et al…… Multinational corporations with a vested interest in Olympics-related revenue
Hotel workers, airport staff, et al………. Working people who did not ask for any of this
Bach…………………………………… Thomas Bach, current IOC President
Act One
Scene 1
United States, mid-2019. State of blissful ignorance.
ME
telling anyone who will listen, gleefully
OMG we have tickets to the Olympics!
Scene 2
United States, 2020. Darkened living room.
ME
stares at television screen in horror
No one is going to the Olympics. We all must focus on not dying.
Scene 3
Tokyo, Japan. Late 2020.
ME
Hooray, a vaccine! Maybe we will go to the Olympics after all!
COSPORT
dialogue in parentheses is spoken quietly, in asides to the audience
No foreign spectators! We don’t care if you live in Japan. Respond ASAP with your contact info (which we already have, LOL) or you will not get any of your money back! (Instead of like 70% of it back. We are entitled to our share because…reasons.)
ME
Wait, what?
Scene 4
Tokyo. Two days later.
COSPORT
LOL, JK. You live in the country? You can go now.
ME
Hooray!
Act Two
Scene 1
Tokyo, Japan. Early-to-mid 2021.
JAPAN
Hmmm, COVID case numbers are increasing. We must declare a State of Emergency!
State of Emergency is declared. Case numbers go down. SOE ends; numbers immediately go back up. This cycle repeats multiple times, with diminishing returns.
COMPANIES
Hmm. While the Internet exists, it’s still important our employees come to work on crowded trains and sit shoulder-to-shoulder in our offices.
JAPAN
LOL that’s cool. We get it. Our cabinet members totes had to have that in-person farewell dinner too.
We will continue to rely on individuals doing the right thing, though it is often unclear what that “right thing” may be.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN
We’re not seriously going to hold the Olympics this year, right? About 3% of the population is vaccinated. The case numbers are worse now than in 2020.
JAPAN
…
IOC
$$$
COCA-COLA, P&G, MCDONALD’S, ET AL
$$$
Scene 2
Tokyo, Japan. One month before the Opening Ceremonies.
JAPAN
There will be limited numbers of spectators at the Olympics.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN
expressions of horror and exasperation
JAPAN
Okay! No spectators! We’ll also give you another SOE that will last through the Games. Please stay home while we welcome the Delta variant…oops!…PEOPLE. People from all over the world! We’ve had an extra year to plan and have this totally under control. Right?
HOTEL WORKERS, AIRPORT STAFF, ET AL
all blink slowly
BACH
Our common target is safe and secure games for everybody; for the athletes, for all the delegations, and most importantly also for the Chinese people…I mean…
PEOPLE OF JAPAN
as one, chorus brings palms to faces
As curtain closes on the scene, a maniacal laugh is heard, and shadows flicker across the stage, evoking the flying monkeys scene from the Wizard of Oz. Except instead of monkeys, there are viruses.
Act Three
Scene 1
Tokyo. September 2021.
ME
I wonder when I’ll get those ticket refunds?
COSPORT
New phone, who dis?
Blackout
